


Needles Family Values

by artificialcitrus, purecamp



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 09:37:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21251291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialcitrus/pseuds/artificialcitrus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/purecamp/pseuds/purecamp
Summary: They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, the Needles family! Missing sisters, lying psychiatrists, passionate sex and the imminent threats of fraud and death… just another day in the Needles household. Welcome to the Addams Family AU you never knew you needed.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> pureCAMP’s a/n: hi!!! i love citrus and i love these movies and this franchise so here’s our secret surprise we’ve been hinting at for ages!!!! love u and hope u love this!!!
> 
> Citrus’s a/n: if you know me at all, you know that the Addams Family is my favorite film franchise of all time, and arguably my favorite pop culture franchise overall. i’m absolutely ELATED to be finally bringing this fic into the light after working so long and hard on it with one of my favorite people in the entire world! this really is a labor of love, and i hope you enjoy it!

“Violet, darling, put that cleaver down.”

The children skidded to a halt at the sound of their mother’s voice, soft yet firm, and Violet handed over the offending object that she had been using to chase her younger brother around the house. Sharon replaced it with an axe, pressing the weapon into her daughter’s hands. There were many dangers around their home, little nooks and crannies of chaos for the children to run into, and it was the very least she could do to try and protect them. A cleaver would be of no use at all.

“Don’t ever let me catch you doing that again. Your brother is much too old for just a little cleaver, now, isn’t he?”

Alaska looked over from the sofa, a smile spreading across her face. “Has Gio really outgrown the meat cleaver? Oh, Sharon, they’re growing up so fast…” She regarded her wife lovingly as the children took off once more, Violet brandishing the new axe proudly. “Do you remember when Gio was born, darling?”

The ghost of a smile flickered on Sharon’s lips at the memory. “Of course I do,” she said wistfully. “I was in labour for twenty-seven hours. It was agony.” She paused. “It was bliss.” Alaska shivered.

“Your screams… I’ll never forget them, _ cara mia _ . They were so tortured, so chilling, so utterly beautiful.” Sharon glowed at her wife’s words, closing the book she’d been skimming through and laying it on her lap. Alaska’s gaze landed on the novel curiously before she looked back up at Sharon. “What are you reading, _ bella _?”

“_ Raising the Dead: Caring for Your Little Monster _,” she replied with the hint of a smile. “Ages infant to three.”

Alaska cocked her head to the side, puzzled. “Infant to three? But Sharon, our children...” her eyes widened suddenly, and she stared at her wife, mouth agape. “_ Sharon. _ Is it true?” Sharon’s smile didn’t waver as she nodded in affirmation, one hand resting on her abdomen. Alaska jumped to her feet, pulling her wife into a tight embrace. “ _ Cara mia… _ Such dreadful news, and today of all days…”

Sharon leaned into Alaska’s embrace, lips brushing against her cheek. “Darling… It was inevitable… I simply can't keep my hands off you…” Alaska held back a low moan as Sharon ran her hands over her curves, emphasized by the exquisite tailoring of her dark suit. Her words were true; she’d never met a single soul who possessed the beauty that Alaska had, and she truly loved her wife - several times a day, at least. While Alaska preferred to express her adoration for Sharon with flowery words and chivalry and gifts, Sharon’s way of proclaiming her affection was much more… physical. She was incredibly lucky, therefore, that she’d met a woman with a near-insatiable sexual appetite to match her own, and married her.

Sharon remembered it like it had happened merely yesterday, and not the ten years their unbreakable vow had boasted. A dear friend of hers had passed away - the delightfully disgusting Sasha, after losing a long and honourable battle with her own health - and she had arrived at the funeral resplendent in black, the same situation during which her friend, when alive, had introduced her to the very pair of eyes watching her whilst everybody else was enamoured with her cadaver. She, too, found herself drawn to the piercing stare of her lover. Had she been a different kind of woman, she may have even blushed.

The “mystery woman” introduced herself immediately, kneeling slightly and pressing a lingering kiss to Sharon’s outstretched hand. “My, my… The devil should be so lucky as to receive you as a gift, _ bella. _”

Her poisonous green eyes met Sharon’s as she straightened, allowing her to appreciate the woman before her. “Alaska Needles. Why, it’s… disenchanting to meet you. I had expected that her darling corpse would be the prettiest thing I saw today. It appears I was wrong.”

“Sharon, Sharon Coady. You’re quite the sight to behold, Alaska.”

Alaska blinked slowly, her gaze unwavering as her eyelashes fluttered. “I can see you’ve lived a thousand torturous lifetimes, _ cara mia. _ A woman like you deserves a name to go with it.”

Biting her lip, Sharon pulled Alaska closer, delighted by their playacting. “Is that so? What would you suggest?”

With a tenderness unlike anything Sharon had felt before, Alaska took both her hands within her own and held them close to her chest. It was as if Sharon could feel the fire beneath her skin, relishing in the flames that devoured the pit of her stomach. Her lover was a woman like no other.

“I say I take you away. Tonight, _ cara mia _, the witching hour. I’ll give you my name, and all of the pain and misery you could possibly withstand.”

Sharon let out a low gasp. “_ Take me, darling. _ Let us never look back.”

That very night, in the midst of the very graveyard their relatives were decaying in, they had made the ultimate sacrifice. Sharon relinquished her name, happy to accept Alaska’s in the wake of their seemingly sudden, sweeping romance. When they kissed, the moonlight above them as their witness, Sharon swore that life and death, pain and pleasure, distress and tranquility each had merged, coming together into one.

Before long, she was a fully-fledged member of the extensive Needles clan, accepted and beloved by each and every oddity that kissed her hand and wished them well. Sharon learned of Alaska’s sister, older and lonelier, who had disappeared the very night they married, never to be seen again. The two sisters had been driven apart, and Sharon knew just how deeply Alaska wished she could see her once more and reunite their family.

“Katya always loved the little ones, how I wish she could be here to meet our children,” Alaska sighed. “She would adore them so.”

“The time of the seance is nearing, _ ma chère, _” Sharon answered, “Perhaps tonight, Katya Needles will show herself. We all miss her dearly.”

“Everyone to the seance room, we must begin the preparations!” The voice of Alaska’s mother brought them out of their trance, reminding the two they were not alone. They made their way to the seance room arm-in-arm, and though the urge to steal away and lose themselves in pain and pleasure was strong, the urge to reunite their family was, as it so often is, much stronger.

“Violet, Gio, darlings- come and join us,” Sharon called out softly, the children seemingly materializing out of nowhere and scampering into the room. Violet was still wielding the axe, and Gio had retaliated with spiked mace that he was swinging above his head. Holding out one hand, Alaska stopped them both in their tracks and watched as they skidded to a halt.

“Now, now, no weapons are to be taken into the seance room. You know this.” She scolded gently, ignoring their sulky expressions as she took the weapons and put them aside. “We need to prepare for tonight, and I know you’ve been looking forward to it so very much. Come along, now.”

Rarely used but well-loved, the seance room was one of the many dusty jewels tucked away in their home. It was well stocked with books, thick with knowledge of any kind of pain and torture known or unknown to man. In the centre, beneath one of many crystalline chandeliers, stood their grand oak table. Many an execution warrant had been written upon its smooth surface back in its origin. It was rich with history, which they were hoping would serve them well in their search for Katya.

“Oh, Alaska… It seems such a shame to remove all these beautiful cobwebs….” Sharon held the duster close to her chest. 

Alaska pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I know, _ mia bella. _ They’re exquisite.”

Sharon sighed, sweeping through them half-heartedly. “I’m sorry, poor spiders. It’ll only be for a couple of days. Then you can move right back in and begin spinning some beautiful new webs.”

There wasn’t much else to be done, save for removing the dust and setting out the candles, so it didn’t take the family too long to prepare. It had been almost a decade of searching fruitlessly, desperate for Katya’s return. They had to hope that this year would finally yield the results they dreamed of.

A gentle tap on the door revealed a visitor - the eccentric disembodied hand, who was standing near Alaska’s feet. It was clear by the frantic gesturing that it had a message.

“Ah! Evening, Vanjie.”

The hand went still.

Alaska coughed. “Sorry, sorry. _ Miss _ Vanjie.”

Satisfied, Vanjie continued with its odd method of communicating, gesticulating oddly in a manner that seemed completely untranslatable. Somehow, Alaska nodded, understanding it all. 

“Right, right. Sharon, darling, Detox and Roxxxy are here. Vanjie says they’re expecting you.”

Sharon let out an airy gasp. “Of course. I’d completely forgotten. Detox will want to speak with you, I expect.” She turned to face the rest of the family. “My darlings, Grandmama’s in charge. We have other matters to attend to.”

-

“_ The Katya Needles Offshore Retirement Fund? _” Alaska read off the sheet of paper on her desk. She looked up at Detox. “What would it do?”

Detox put a hand on her hip. “What wouldn’t it do?”

Alaska sighed, already lost in a memory. “Katya… You know, some called her ‘the visual depiction of untreated mental illness.’”

“_ No, _” Detox gasped. Alaska shook her head, smiling proudly.

“Only our parents. I called her ‘sister.’”

“And her memory must live on forever,” Detox insisted. “Through money,” she added. “I’ll deposit the money under my name, for tax purposes you know.”

“How inspired!” Alaska praised, looking over the papers in her hands.

“She would’ve wanted it that way,” Detox said. “One million dollars should be the perfect amount. For darling Katya’s memory, of course.”

Alaska leapt up from her seat and onto her desk. “It’s brilliant!” she exclaimed joyfully, fencing foil raised high. Then she paused, turning to look down at Detox. “But it’s not old business, Detox, and you know the rules.”

“Couldn’t we- couldn’t we make an exception?” the businesswoman faltered. Alaska hopped off the desk, shaking her head.

“Old business is old business, and new business is new business. And we do not discuss new business until…” she turned her back and flipped through her desk calendar at an inhuman speed, “Next quarter.”

“Next quarter,” Detox repeated under her breath, outraged. While Alaska’s back was still turned, she grabbed her abandoned foil from their earlier joust and made a thrust in Alaska’s direction with her whole body. Unfortunately, Alaska moved at the very last second, sending Detox tumbling over the desk and onto the floor.

“Fine lunge, but your riposte…” Alaska _ tsk _ed, looking down at her. “A tad rusty. You’d do well to practice more, Detox.” She tossed her foil to Vanjie, who sheathed it, and made her way to the doorway. “Make yourself comfortable while I fetch the money for the monthly expenses.”

-

“A charity auction,” Jinkx muttered as she searched through the storage room, “It’s ridiculous.”

They had already searched most of the room, including opening an old bureau that was found to only contain the summer and winter wardrobes of Alaska’s uncle, as well as the body of the man himself. No luck there.

At that moment, Vanjie caught Sharon’s attention by snapping its fingers and pointing to a nearby shelf. Sharon let out a small exclamation of delight and retrieved the object they’d been searching for, gliding over to Roxxxy with a smile.

“Just what we’ve been searching for. Thank you, Vanjie.”

“It’s beautiful,” Roxxxy breathed. “Er, what is it?”

Sharon smiled. “A finger trap from the court of Emperor Ru,” she explained, turning the device over in her hands.

“This must be worth a fortune… Oh, Sharon!” Roxxxy squealed in delight, overcome by her kindness. “It’s too extravagant… Maybe even for the auction…”

“Let’s keep it,” Jinkx suggested gleefully. Sharon looked at her with surprise.

“Hush, Mama,” she chided, “It’s for charity. Widows and orphans.” She turned to Roxxxy with an expression of utmost sympathy. “We need more of them.” Then she frowned, looking troubled. “Roxxxy, about the seance tonight… I wish you’d come. It’s Alaska, I’m… I’m terribly worried about her,” she admitted. “She won’t eat, she can’t sleep, she keeps coughing up blood…”

Roxxxy looked up from the finger trap, which had now closed around her index fingers while she had been fiddling with it. “She coughs up blood?” she echoed, sounding horrified. Sharon sighed deeply, her voice thick with emotion.

“Not like she used to…”

-

“There you are!” Alaska proclaimed, heaping the last of a stack of shimmering gold coins onto the scale. “The monthly expenses. It was good to see you, Detox, you really should visit more often.” Sliding the doubloons into Detox’s briefcase, she handed it off, bidding the defeated woman adieu.

Mood soured, Detox grunted in response. “Thanks.” She replied curtly, lugging the much-heavier briefcase with her. “Roxxxy? Come on, we’re leaving!”

Roxxxy joined her just as they headed out of the door, Alaska and Sharon waving them off. Her face was pinched uncomfortably, her finger still caught in the unusual trap, and she looked put-out by something. Such was a side-effect of visiting the Needles mansion - though they were rich, the estate was filled with horrors other than the children, that would disturb anyone of sound mind.

“This stupid trap!” She shrieked, finally undone by the madness. “Detox, look at this stupid thing!”

She was just about to open the gate, ready to reassure her wife, when she realized something - or someone - was blocking the way. The Needles’ eldest child, a young girl named Violet, was stood in front of them.

“You - but - you -” Detox faltered, sure she had seen the child just moments ago, at the top of the staircase. Violet remained expressionless.

“It’s not stupid.” She stated plainly. “It’s very simple, and very valuable.” With one click, she freed Roxxxy’s fingers, now red and swollen, from the trap. “There’s a trick to it. Maybe Mother will teach it to you tonight, at the seance.”

Without another word, she began to walk back towards her home, looming eerily black against the bright blue sky. In the meantime, wrenching the gate open, Detox glared at Roxxxy.

“You agreed to go to a seance?! With the Needles?!” 

Roxxxy shrugged helplessly. “Do you expect me to argue with Sharon?” She replied, her voice shrill. “She’s a lovely woman, but she’s too intimidating!”

“And filthy fucking rich - that she is.” Detox sighed, conceding. “That she fucking is.”

-

With an almighty _ thud _, Detox slammed the briefcase that Alaska had filled onto her desk and sank into her worn leather chair, facing the wall. She was in dire straits, and she knew it. That fake retirement fund for the long missing Katya Needles had been her last attempt at a fraudulent scheme, and she had come up empty-handed yet again. If she couldn’t convince the Needles to squander some of their unending wealth soon, she would be a goner.

“Detox? Good to see you. Sit down.” A familiar voice commanded. Detox let out a long, low groan.

“I’m already sitting down.”

“Sit down _ here. _” The voice insisted. Turning, Detox saw the one face that she cared to see less than Alaska or Sharon Needles - Phi Phi O’Hara. Her dark eyes were boring into Detox’s expectantly, and she knew that her benefactor was waiting for money that she just didn’t have.

“Pay up, Detox.” She began sternly, as she sullenly took a seat opposite Phi Phi on the floral couch. “I’ve lent you many thousands of dollars by now. I expect to see some payback.”

Sweating, Detox sank down further. “Look, O’Hara, I don’t have it. I’ve got nothing for you, I’ve got nothing for myself. I need more time-”

“And I need results, Detox. I need them now. I trust you haven’t met my sister yet?”

Detox’s first thought was that there was no way this… creature could be Phi Phi’s sister. Unlike her boss, who was short in stature and golden skinned, her sister was tall, pale and muscular. Around her head, a birds nest of black hair obscured most of her face, so that all that could be seen was one sharp cheekbone and a pair of blood red lips. However, at the sight of her somewhat-menacing stance, Detox decided not to question her birth.

“She’s trained.” Phi Phi warned her. “I wouldn’t try to cross us, Detox.

The dark-haired woman cracked her knuckles.

She frowned. “Trained in what?”

Phi Phi shrugged. “Don’t try to find out. Just give us our money and we won’t have to hurt you.”

“I’m trying!” Detox insisted, jumping to her feet. “Honestly, they’re drowning in money. Just today I heard Alaska’s wife talking about how they made it onto Forbes richest - multiple times! They have some sort of secret vault or something, but no one knows where it is!” Phi Phi’s terrifying sister stepped closer to her, a menacing glare in her eyes as she reached out and suddenly pushed Detox against the wall by her neck.

“I think she’s lying, Phi Phi,” she said with a leering grin.

“I- I swear I’m not!” Detox choked out, struggling to breathe. “I was gonna look during- during their seance tonight!”

“Seance?” Phi Phi questioned. Detox nodded as best she could while attempting to free herself from the woman’s grasp.

“They have one every year, to- to summon their long-lost sister. K-Katya.”

“Petra, let her down,” Phi Phi commanded. Her sister relinquished her hold on Detox with a slight frown, stepping back. “Now, Detox… Tell me about this seance.”

By the time Detox had explained everything, there was a wicked glimmer in Phi Phi’s eye.

“This could work,” she mused, “We could pull it off.”

“Pull what off?”

Phi Phi rolled her eyes. “Jesus, Detox, keep up. We’re gonna disguise Petra as Katya Needles, and I’ll pretend to be a psychiatrist who found her washed up somewhere with amnesia. Once the Needles accept her into their family again, she can tell us where their vault is, and you can finally pay us what you owe.”

Detox considered Phi Phi’s plan, her gaze shifting to Petra. She did look startlingly similar to the portrait of Katya that hung in the Needles estate. With a haircut and some cleaning up, she could easily pass for the long-lost Needles sibling. Phi Phi was already convinced, a pair of fake glasses in hand to add to her psychiatrist illusion. Petra was on board with the scheme, seemingly willing to do whatever her sister suggested. Reluctantly, Detox pulled out her phone.

“I’ll call Roxxxy. She likes Mrs Needles, but she hates the weird shit they get up to. She’s not gonna like this at all.”

For the entire drive back to the Needles mansion, Roxxxy was sullen and silent; it was a drastic but not unwelcome change from her hysterical yelling that had nearly burst Detox’s eardrums through the phone. She kept her arms crossed and her eyes in her lap, doing her best to ignore the two passengers conversing in the backseat. As expected, she hadn’t taken the news well, but Detox had the upper hand. No matter how they did it, they needed money fast. Petra - or Katya - was their only hope.

“Ugh, this place freaks me out.” Roxxxy sniffed, smoothing her dark green skirt and gazing at the ornate iron gates. “Do you think I look dark enough for them?”

Irritated with her attitude, Detox rolled her eyes, before plastering a fake smile onto her face. “Aww, for the Needleses?”

She placed a gentle hand on Roxxxy’s arm, to reassure her.

“No.” Detox finished abruptly, letting her hand fall. “Nothing is dark enough for them. Come on, they’ll be waiting. You two wait here and listen.” The last comment was directed at Phi Phi and Petra-Katya.

All but dragging Roxxxy up the path, Detox affixed a wide grin to her face and pressed the doorbell, hoping it wouldn’t snap and try to chomp on her finger as it had done once before. Thankfully, the feral button remained still, leaving Detox’s hands untouched and her smile unbroken.

“Darling, at least try to look like you want to be here.” She hissed. “They’re our last hope.”

The door swung open, revealing the Needles’ manservant, the tall and handsome Max. He seldom spoke, but Detox had seen him a few times around the home. Behind him, Sharon was watching them intently. At her serious expression, Detox let the smile fall from her face. Like any Needles family member, Sharon rarely smiled, save for the seductive, tight-lipped smirk she reserved only for her wife.

“Detox, Roxxxy, do come in. I can’t thank you enough for coming. Alaska will be delighted.”

Roxxxy simpered. “Oh, it was our pleasure.” She told her, sounding saccharine-sweet.

Sharon raised one eyebrow. “Oh, really? It was ours too.”

Leaving a puzzled Roxxxy no time to respond, Sharon turned on her heel. “Max, darling, will you help escort our guests to the seance room? You know Mama, she’s simply itching to begin.”

The tall butler first took their coats before leading them to the seance room. Both Detox and Roxxxy immediately wished they had kept them on, as the house grew colder the closer they got, but they pinned the smiles to their faces anyway.

As they entered, feeling slightly out of place, the Needles family (and guests) gathered around a large oak table, sitting in high-backed chairs as candles flickered on the walls. 

“Gio, I see that axe,” Sharon chided softly, holding out her hand. Gio and Violet shared a look, and the boy handed the weapon to his mother with a sweet, innocent smile. “Now… Shall we begin?”

The participants joined hands-- all except for Max, who had been tasked with providing the mood music for the night, and was fulfilling that duty by playing sonatas on an organ. The weather outside was perfect for a seance, stormy and dark, with rolling thunder and the occasional flash of lightning. Other than the thunderclaps and Max’s organ-playing, the room was very quiet, and Jinkx started the seance with an old incantation.

“Sing, all ye spirits… Harken all souls…”

Her gravelly voice was chilling. As she spoke, Detox and Roxxxy found themselves watching the two Mrs Needles interacting. Despite the sinister setting, their unending romance seemed unperturbed by the darkness. Alaska was gazing into Sharon’s eyes as though she intended to ravish her right then and there. With a sniff, Roxxxy tried to recall the last time she had been looked at with such all-consuming lust.

Alaska gently stroked her wife’s hand, continuing. “Every year on this date, we offer a clarion call to Katya Needles. May she reveal herself at last.”

“From generation to generation, our beacon to the beyond.” Sharon smiled softly as she placed a lit candle in the centre of the table.

“Everyone close your eyes and join hands!” Jinkx instructed. Once again, Roxxxy found herself uncomfortable - though she considered herself friends with Sharon, her mother-in-law Jinkx had always seemed odd, and her daughter Violet was unnerving, to say the least. Still, she reassured herself, despite their outward appearances, they were just an elderly grandmother and a harmless young child. Nothing to fear.

“Oh, what a grip!” Jinkx exclaimed as Roxxxy took her hand, with a grasp no firmer than usual. “Ooh! Oh, my hand!”

Her frizzy, greying red hair was stood on end like the fur of a hissing cat. Looking down, she didn’t realize the source of the old woman’s yelping until she realized the hand that she was holding was no longer attached to Jinkx’s arm. Horrified, she screamed and stumbled backwards.

“The - it - how - I- hand!” She babbled, pointing in terror at the disembodied limb. Jinkx and the children fell about laughing, prompting Alaska to shake her head at their antics before cracking a smile of her own. Even Sharon had an amused smirk toying at her lips.

“Vanjie, you’re more of a handful than the children, sometimes,” she scolded. “And Mama, you know better than to scare our dear guest like that.”

Jinkx shrugged, reconnecting their hands to continue the seance. “Violet?”

The little girl nodded, more serious and still than a child had ever been. “Let us ransom you from the power of the grave. Tonight, oh Death, let us be your plague.”

A whispered, “Well done, dear,” from Sharon followed her incantation before Jinkx took over once more, chanting in an unfamiliar tongue. The room grew colder as she spoke, the darkness becoming heavier around them as though a veil shrouded the room. Goosebumps ran along any exposed flesh. Then, in an instant, all of the candles blew out in a gust of inexplicable wind.

“I sense that she’s near!”

Everybody’s eyes snapped open. There was no sign of the missing Needles sister in the room, but Alaska’s eyes were wide with hope, presumably conveying a message to Sharon, at whom she was staring at with a fiery intensity.

“Katya Needles, gather your strength!” Jinkx commanded. “Knock three times!”

The rest of the participants closed their eyes again, except for Detox. Roxxxy was about to scold her for not taking part when she noticed she was looking out of the window across the Needles estate. Somewhere in the distance, a car door shut, and Detox turned her attention back to the seance. With bated breath, the family waited to find out if this was the night that Katya Needles would finally reappear. 

_ Boom. _

_ Boom. _

_ Boom. _

Alaska almost looked as though she were in pain - her body jolted with each knock, and her face was screwed up in desperation. She couldn’t bear to get her hopes up about her sister’s return if she was not truly going to appear.

“Did you hear that? Ask again, quickly!” she demanded, her eyes sparkling. “Ask again!”

Jinkx cleared her throat. “Katya Needles! Long have you been missing, soon will you be reunited. I demand that you knock again, three times!”

Once more, Alaska gritted her teeth, her brow furrowed as she listened out between the cracking of thunder.

_ Boom. _

_ Boom. _

_ Boom. _

At the final knock, she sprung from her chair, knocking a nearby candle and setting a piece of cloth alight. “My sister! She’s here, at our door!” Ignoring the fire, which Max was startlingly quick to put out, she all but bounded out of the room with Sharon on her tail, followed in turn by their children.

Flinging the heavy door open like it weighed nothing, Alaska was immediately confronted by two figures: a petite brunette woman wearing a raincoat, and a taller woman with a mess of black hair rivaling only her own. Sharon let out a soft gasp at her side, and when the raven-haired woman flashed an awkward smile, Alaska was sweeping her up in a bone-crushing embrace.

“It’s you,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. “Katya.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pureCAMP’s a/n: happy halloween here’s our needles family (do do do do), plz revive shalaska in the old frankenstein way for the seasonal spirit, and if u saw michelle do tish on strictly did you, too, die a death at how good she was!! plz enjoy
> 
> Citrus’s a/n: happy halloween, here’s some porn x

“The authorities found her washed up on the Florida coast, following a harrowing experience out at sea,” the petite brunette explained to a stunned Needles family and guests in the parlor. “They performed tests on her, medical exams, a complete psychological evaluation. Finally, they confirmed it: she’s your dear, long-lost sister. They transferred her to me at Human Services, and I’ve brought her back to you after so many years.”

Alaska buried her face in Sharon’s shoulder for a moment, trying to hold back her tears of joy.

“That’s preposterous,” Roxxxy criticized. Detox nodded in agreement. “Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard?”

“It certainly is,” Alaska said, standing up and crossing the room to take a look at Katya. “And now you’re home.”

“Katya Needles…” Sharon mused. “Home at long last.”

“At least for a week,” Katya agreed, somewhat nervously. Alaska looked horrified.

“A week? You’re finally home, what are you talking about?”

Katya managed to shrug despite Alaska’s strong hand on her shoulder. “I have, uh, lots of things brewing. In the, er… Bermuda Triangle.”

Sharon made a soft sound, leaning back against the sofa. “Oh, Alaska, the Bermuda Triangle…”

Alaska’s eyes glimmered. “Devil’s Island,” she replied, moving to join her wife on the couch.

“The Black Hole of Calcutta,” Sharon teased in a low voice, fingers dancing along her wife’s arm. She gasped when Alaska took her hand and kissed her palm, staring straight into her soul with those beautiful dark eyes that promised even darker deeds.

“Excuse us,” she said, eyes still glued to her wife. Sharon’s lips formed a small smile.

“Second honeymoon,” she explained, the twinkle in her eyes providing the details that her lips didn’t. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention to the brunette woman once more. “Doctor… O’Hara, was it? Dr. O’Hara, will you be staying with us as well?”

“I’m afraid I’m much too busy,” Phi Phi said hastily, “But I’ll be back to check on Katya’s adjustment.”

“No one escapes the Bermuda Triangle,” Violet deadpanned from her position on the floor, cross-legged. “No one normal, anyway.”

Alaska smiled at her from the couch. “My darling, you’re forgetting that Katya is a Needles,” she supplied.

“And she has endured things which others could not,” Dr. O’Hara agreed.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us…” Sharon left the rest of her sentence unsaid, implying that all guests would be seeing themselves out, and Alaska swept her up bridal-style to carry her to their bedroom.

-

Almost the moment that the bedroom door had shut and locked itself, Alaska’s lips were laying claim to Sharon’s neck and the area of her chest left exposed by her dress. The brunette sighed as she backed them up onto the bed, hands tangling in her wife’s hair.

“You’re overjoyed, mon cher…”

“ _ Yes, _ ” Alaska breathed, moving Sharon’s hair aside to give herself better access to her wife’s neck. Somehow, the marks she left never remained the morning after, but she loved to leave them all the same. Once she’d marked up Sharon’s neck to her satisfaction, she pushed her wife’s dress down over her shoulders and past her hips, sliding it down her legs before Sharon suddenly flipped their positions. Now that she was on top, she was able to make quick work of Alaska’s sinfully well-fitted suit, leaving her in a similar state of undress in mere moments.

“Darling…” she whispered, nails scratching lightly down her wife’s hip, “After such joyous news, what could I possibly do in order to bring you more pleasure? How can I ever compare to what Dr. O’Hara has done for us, mon amour?”

Alaska took in a shuddering breath, restless after such an agonizing hour of being away from her wife’s embrace, and the ghost of a whine escaped her lips when Sharon’s nails raked down her thighs, much harder this time. “Cara mia, words are not enough to tell you of the bliss that you make me feel,” she answered. Her hands moved from her sides to rest against Sharon’s abdomen, just below where her corset ended, and her eyes shone as she stroked the soft skin with care. “My sister back home… A baby on the way… Tonight could not be any more perfect.”

Sharon raised an eyebrow, her crimson lips curving into a smirk. “Not at all?” she teased, her hand moving to squeeze Alaska’s crotch through her underwear. “There’s nothing I can do for you?” The other woman moaned freely, biting down on her lip.

“I suppose there are a few ways that this night could be better,” she acquiesced, the sentence all but a groan as Sharon pulled her underwear off and began lightly stroking her length. “You treat me as though I’m fragile, Shar,” she teased. 

Sharon’s grip tightened as she smiled. “We both know that you’re anything but,” she replied, twisting her hand around Alaska’s aching cock and making her wife shudder. As she slid further down the bed to position herself between her wife’s legs, she peppered uncharacteristically light kisses over her thighs, interspersed with sharp, painful bites. “Tonight is yours, mon amour,” Sharon promised. “Tonight, the servant becomes the queen, the worshiper becomes the goddess, the desperate becomes the coveted.”

“Cara mia…”

Alaska’s back arched like a drawn bow, her body taught and tense as Sharon’s mouth enveloped her, teeth grazing painfully along her length before swallowing her down. For a woman who spoke so little, Sharon’s mouth was not without its talents, and she managed to reduce her wife to a squirming mess in mere minutes. When she pulled her mouth away, lipstick slightly smudged, Alaska let out a whine.

“Shar, don’t tease,” she begged as her wife’s manicured fingertips danced along her erection. Sharon guided Alaska’s hands to her back in a silent command to begin unlacing her corset, and Alaska complied all too happily. Though the expensive garment was not without its beauty, it locked Sharon’s body away from Alaska, teasing her, taunting her. It was a cage for her beloved, a cage that kept her from Alaska’s touch. She was endlessly glad when the corset was loose enough to be undone and tossed to the floor, forgotten.

Now that Sharon’s alabaster skin was all but revealed to Alaska, she could hardly keep her hands away. She ran them all over her wife’s near-naked body, relishing in the sensation of Sharon’s cold skin against her own heat. Flipping them again, Sharon found herself beneath her wife once more, and Alaska’s lips and tongue made a hot, wet trail along her chest down to her hips. She stopped to take each of Sharon’s nipples into her mouth in turn, sucking on the delicate flesh and pulling a well-deserved moan from her wife, before continuing down to her stomach.

Sharon wasn’t showing just yet, but Alaska knew that in due time her wife’s belly would grow heavy and swollen with child as their unborn infant formed inside her like a parasite. The thought alone was enough to make her moan aloud, and Sharon couldn’t help but smile as Alaska made great pains to kiss and caress every inch of her stomach and abdomen.

“Tonight is about you,” she reminded her wife gently, reaching down to caress her cheek. Alaska flushed, eyes even darker than usual with desire, and she nodded.

“Your satisfaction is my pleasure,” she murmured against Sharon’s cold skin, her lips providing searing heat that set Sharon’s nerves alight. “Your pleasure, Sharon, is more than I could ever hope to receive, in this life or the next.”

Before Sharon could even attempt to switch their positions once again, Alaska was drawing the black silk panties down her wife’s legs and discarding them, spreading her milky thighs apart with strong yet tender hands. The black-haired seductress let out a cry as her centre was introduced to Alaska’s mouth, so wet and soft and almost painfully hot against Sharon’s icy core. It was nothing short of bliss, and Sharon’s hands tangled in her wife's messy black hair as she lost herself in sensation, in pleasure, in  _ Alaska. _

“Oh, mon coeur,” she sighed, her hips bucking up against her wife’s mouth, and Alaska paused to look up at her with a deep look of lust in her eyes.

“That’s French,” she all but moaned, licking a final stripe up Sharon’s slit before repositioning herself to line up with her entrance, hands on her beautifully round hips. 

“Wait, darling,” Sharon bade her wife, and though patience had never been Alaska’s strong suit, she stopped just shy of pushing into Sharon. Caressing her wife’s cheek, she cocked her head to one side.

“Is something wrong, cara mia?”

Sharon shook her head slowly. “Nothing,” she promised. “However… I had hoped to be on top tonight, mon cher.”

Alaska’s expression betrayed her, and she nodded eagerly at her waiting wife. “Yes, Sharon, yes,” she breathed, moving to lay on her back. She palmed her length impatiently as Sharon repositioned herself, hovering above her wife, her pale thighs on either side of Alaska’s legs, her black hair cascading down her back like a river. “Cara mia, you’re devastating.”

Sharon allowed herself a small smile, gripping her wife’s cock and lining them up, teasing her by running Alaska’s tip between her slick seam. In a single, impressive move, she sank down onto Alaska with a cry, her senses torn between pleasure and pain as Alaska’s impressive length filled her completely. This was always her favourite moment, the one she secretly pined for; Alaska was overwhelmed by sensation, and Sharon was completely and utterly  _ hers. _ Only in such moments did Sharon truly feel like a goddess, straddling her wife’s muscular thighs as she took her cock to the hilt, burning and aching, every nerve on fire.

“Mon amour, you will be the death of me,” Sharon moaned, low and deep, and her words cut Alaska far deeper and more pleasurably than any knife they owned. “Please, Alaska, take what is yours.”

At the utterance of her name, Alaska began to thrust up into Sharon, who was beginning to ride her, setting a brutal-- and entirely welcome-- pace. Sharon’s hands flew to massage Alaska’s breasts as her wife gripped her hips, holding her steady as she was claimed, and her delicate moans filled the air as Alaska fucked her harder, deeper still.

Sharon was hers, entirely and completely, her other half and her perfect match. She was more beautiful than life itself, more tantalizing than death, dearer to Alaska than anyone else in the world. As Sharon’s pace slowed above her, their rough, passionate sex turned into soft, sweet lovemaking. Sharon rolled her hips against Alaska’s in slow circles, hands splayed out on her chest, head thrown back in ecstasy as her wife met her motions in equal measure.

“ _ Mon cher… _ ” Sharon sighed, long and drawn-out, a whisper of absolute pleasure and completion. “ _ Alaska… _ ” Alaska groaned as they reached the peak of their pleasure together, becoming a singular being with a shared heart, a shared body, a shared soul. Back arched, crimson lips issuing forth a moan, Sharon was as radiant as a goddess of the moon, and Alaska was her sun goddess, hot and passionate as she spilled into her wife, their edges bleeding together. They were one.

Sharon collapsed on her wife’s chest, utterly spent, and Alaska held her close as their breathing gradually slowed. They were passionate lovers, but gentleness always prevailed when they had been satisfied, falling into one another’s arms. Alaska held Sharon close, stroking her dark tresses as her other hand danced over her wife’s soft, pale skin.

“My dark angel,” Sharon purred, nails lightly scraping down Alaska’s bare chest, “Dare I suggest we go again?”

-

By all accounts, Katya’s night had been hellish from start to finish. Left to wander around the estate, she found herself entrapped in a labyrinth of horror, beginning with land that she was certain was haunted and ranging all the way to disembodied hands, carnivorous plants and ghastly weapons. Around every corner there seemed to be a new danger, something else to jeopardize her stay with the strange family. Every little oddity was teeming with dark family history, and Katya knew her cover would be blown if she failed to at least fake recognition.

With some help from the tall, ungainly butler that identified himself as Max and said nothing more, she discovered the room that supposedly belonged to her counterpart. It was grim and disturbing, so she didn’t propose to stay long. 

As she began to unpack the supplies she’d brought along with her, she suddenly sensed that she wasn’t alone. Turning with a jolt, she came face-to-face with Sharon, who had somehow managed to enter the room in complete silence.

“Unpacking? Let me help you.”

Katya tried not to let her panic show as she said, “It’s all right, I can do it,” but the dark-haired woman was already peering into her suitcase. She took items out one-by-one and Katya snatched them from her hands, trying not to panic. Was her cover already blown?

“Crowbar… Dynamite... “ She picked up a small corked bottle, inspecting the label, then turned to her sister-in-law. “Cyanide.” She smiled softly. “Katya, as if we’d run out.”

Once Sharon had bid her goodnight and left the room, Katya let out a relieved sigh. These people were even more dangerous than she’d thought, so she’d have to work quickly and get out of the house to avoid sustaining any injuries. Opening the door of the bedroom, she looked out into the hall and was confronted by the little girl standing nearly motionless in her doorway. Slamming the door shut, she cursed under her breath. She’d have to wait until the nosy brat went to sleep before she could accomplish anything.

Turning her attention to the dust-covered desk, a few things caught her eye; the first was a photograph of two young, dark-haired girls being held in cages. They wore matching grins as they posed in front of a sign for a summer camp. The second was a photograph in a burnished silver frame, showing the two sisters with a friend between them, who was identified as Sasha in a scrawled note next to it. She was starkly different to the two of them, with her bird’s nest of white hair piled on the top of her head and bushy brows, but was equally as weird and thus fitted in perfectly. Katya barely noticed the NG tube on Sasha’s face, too distracted by the real Katya’s loving gaze at her.

When she heard the sound of a door slamming across the hall, she relaxed. She could sleep a little more peacefully if she knew that none of the Needleses were awake and creeping about. Collapsing on the overly plush bed, she sank deep into the mattress and tried to relax. Out of nowhere, a disembodied human hand crawled up onto the bed, giving Katya a little wave. She screamed.

-

“That was cruel, Shar,” Alaska groaned, brushing a lock of dark hair away from her face, “You know that I cannot possibly resist you.” Sharon was draped over her body, wearing only a gown of midnight-black chiffon, content in her wife’s embrace.

“You would blame me for your own… shortcomings?” Sharon teased. Alaska chuckled, pulling her wife closer and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“As I said. You know I can’t last long when you pull such tricks on me… That unexpected Greek technique, oh, Shar… You are devilish.” She was about to say more when a long, shrill scream echoed from deep within the house. A joyous smile spread across Alaska’s face. “That sound… It can mean only one thing…” she breathed. Sharon let the ghost of a smile cross her lips as she rested her head on Alaska’s chest, hearing her love’s heart beat.

“Katya’s home.”

-

The next morning, they gathered for their first meal as a family in twenty-five years. Alaska was overjoyed to have her sister back, and sat down at the table with a smile.

“Home cooking!” Jinkx proclaimed, setting food on the table. “There’s nothing like it in the world!”

Katya regarded her plate with barely-concealed surprise, noting that the tentacles were still moving. “What’s this?”

“Mama’s  _ specialite de la maison, _ ” Sharon replied, enjoying the way that Alaska shifted in her seat.

“Oh, Shar… You know how I feel about French…”

Sharon took her hand, squeezing it as a small smile painted her lips. “ _ Je sais. _ ”

“How did you sleep, Katya?” Alaska asked, turning her attention to Katya as if a spell had been broken.

“Like the dead,” Katya answered a little nervously.

“Really? Who knew the Bermuda Triangle could change a woman so much? We used to have to chain you to the bed!” Sharon raised an eyebrow, silent.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Violet said solemnly, casting a suspicious eye on her aunt.

Jinkx scooped more food onto Katya’s plate, “food” that looked even more unusual than the first dish. “Start with the eyes,” she directed.

“Darling, where is your brother?” Sharon asked Violet.

“Outside,” the girl shrugged, her voice monotone. Just then, her brother entered the dining room, carrying a stop sign double his height. There was a car horn blasting, and then the sound of a crash. Gio’s parents applauded his mischief, and Sharon pulled out a chair for him at the breakfast table.

The food that Jinkx had prepared tasted much better than it looked, and Katya managed to stomach it and keep her ruse up for all of breakfast. The moment her plate was clear, Alaska had turned to her, eyes gleaming with excitement. She took Katya down a series of complicated passages, all of them booby-trapped, until they reached a gondola docked in a dark black lake. They continued downward, Alaska steering a gondola through the black waters, the sound of her voice echoing in the vast stone room as she sang along to an aria playing through the gondola’s gramophone.

When they reached a place to dock the boat, Katya’s eyes landed on a large door with a combination lock. It had to be the vault, there was nothing else it could be; she was excited to smuggle out some riches and leave this house and all the weirdos in it.

“Five turns to the right, then seven to the left, and then…” Alaska waited for her sister to answer, and Katya nervously blurted out the first number that came into her head. It clearly wasn’t the right one, because Alaska looked disappointed and sighed. “No, no, two. Five, seven, two, Katya, the cabins from summer camp!” She regarded her sister with confusion, wondering just how much the Bermuda Triangle had changed her. The lock clicked open and Katya followed Alaska inside, expecting the same kind of gold that Detox had shown her, so she was disappointed when the door swung open to reveal a lounge.

Trying to conceal her disappointment, Katya examined the room as discreetly as she could while Alaska rooted through an old box of god-knows-what. She approached a wall of bottles, looking at their strangle labels; some were things she had never heard of, while others were common spirits. Picking one up to read its label closer, she startled when the shelf spun around in the wall. Turning her back on the bottles, her eyes fell upon the true vault, full to bursting with more wealth than she could have possibly imagined in one place. She put the bottle back quickly, not wanting Alaska to notice her absence, but the idiot was still looking through boxes for something.

“Katya, look!” she exclaimed, beaming, as she held up a photograph. It depicted herself and Sharon, wearing black from head to toe, standing in front of a coffin surrounded by flowers. “Our wedding day. She was so beautiful…”

“She was,” Katya agreed, trying to remember whether Alaska had mentioned Katya’s presence at the wedding. To her annoyance, Alaska didn’t elaborate any further. Thankfully, with Katya’s lack of questions, they simply moved on.

They went through old videos and pictures for hours, drinking and talking and laughing, and the strangest feeling was beginning to dawn on Katya. She was playing the part of the long-lost sister, of course, but somehow she felt as though these memories  _ were _ hers, and as though she’d known Alaska her entire life. She’d never felt as close to her real sister, Phi Phi, as she did to Alaska right now, and that was a scary revelation.

Still, much of what she was shown seemed to be horrifying. They flicked through some truly gruesome images - Katya found herself wanting to hurl at a particularly nasty one of the two sisters no older than maybe six or seven, grinning as they held up a stiff cat between them. Another showed Alaska in bitter, distressed tears whilst Katya attempted to strangle her, smiling widely whilst doing so. A third had Katya with an expression of sheer disgust as her sister ran her tongue down the centre of her face. 

It was, in all honesty, terrifying. It didn’t seem like the two sisters had a good relationship at all, and yet somehow Katya felt like she understood it perfectly. To anyone else it would seem vile and unnatural, but it seemed clear to her that they were happy and good friends, if nothing else. She had to remind herself that these people were cruel and evil, and that this Katya - whoever she  _ really _ was - was a deranged human being. 

Alaska pressed the remote onto another image, gasping in delight as it filled the screen. Once again, Katya recoiled in sudden shock. Her sister wore a sharp suit, pinstriped, with a devilish smile on her face, but the real shock of the picture, however, was the corpse between them. Bespoke as the coffin was, Katya hadn’t expected the damn thing to be open, revealing a foul rotted body still complete with teeth and hair. Alaska happily posed above it as if it were simply a sleeping friend. 

“Ah,” Alaska smiled sadly. “I remember this fateful night.”

Katya swallowed, panicking.  _ Fateful? _ Fuck, what had been so special about it?

“Your first funeral!” She tried, her enthusiastic smile attempting to make up for the uncertainty in her voice. 

Alaska frowned, bemused. “My first- Katya, come on!  _ Our _ first funeral was  _ years _ ago, surely you know that! We were ecstatic that they never knew it was us!” She grinned. “Dearest grandpa. It’s how he would’ve wanted to go.”

_ Great _ , Katya thought to herself,  _ I’m in a house of murderers who think that I’m also a murderer. Just great.  _

“I won’t accept that you don’t remember this night, even if you weren’t here with us. Surely this is the one thing you could never forget.”

The picture from earlier flashed in Katya’s mind. For a moment, it was as if she could  _ remember  _ it - the sensation of Sasha’s hair tickling her arms, a warm fondness for the girl blossoming in her chest. As soon as it had arrived, however, it disappeared, replaced with a fleeting anger and then confusion. Still, she took a chance.

“Sasha.”

Alaska sighed. “Sasha. Our dear, dear friend.”

She reached forward suddenly, taking Katya’s hand in hers as though to comfort her. “Please, my sister, let me explain everything to you. I never knew… God, when Sharon told me… You loved her, didn’t you? You loved Sasha and it’s no wonder you thought I was some heartless player, messing her around. I promise you that isn’t the truth, Katya. I wanted to spoil her and make her last moments with us memorable, and then whenever I wasn’t with her I was with my beloved… the way that must’ve looked to you, as though I was using them both for my own gain… I can’t stand it. The real truth, Katya, is that Sasha introduced Sharon and I, and gave our relationship her blessing. I merely took her to see things she might never see, I never pursued any kind of relationship with her…”

Her gaze was filled with sorrow. “I beg you, please forgive me. This misunderstanding… it has been eating at me ever since you left us. That it was all my fault, all because you loved a girl and believed I was using her. Had I known… I couldn’t be more sorry, Katya. If I could dig her up and reunite the two of you right now, I would. You deserve to love one another the way Sharon and I do.”

As she spoke, she flicked away from the corpse to what appeared to be Alaska’s wedding. Both of them were still dressed in the black garments seen in the earlier photographs, locked in a passionate embrace amongst all the graves behind them. At first, Katya wondered  _ who in the hell would get married right after a funeral _ , but it seemed fitting for such an odd family. If what she could deduce was correct, they had only dated for a short while anyway before tying the knot in a graveyard, so she supposed that the strangeness of it all made sense.

Katya stared at the photo. Murderers though they may be, a strange collective of oddities that seemed to dabble in more than just weirdness - whatever love was shared between these two, it was all-encompassing. 

Shaking her head, Alaska pressed forward to yet another romantic shot of the two - with Sasha’s rotting body between them, of course. “We were devastated at your disappearance, Katya. You always talked so excitedly of the experiments you wanted to perform on my future children. You weren’t even here for little Violet’s birth…”

Trying her best not to look too repulsed, Katya looked away as Alaska started flicking through pictures that depicted parts of Sharon she had no desire to see. The last, however, of a squalling baby fiddling with a rickety mobile of knives and grenades with loose pins, settled her fraught nerves. Of course, part of her tried to argue for the safety of the baby, but she seemed quite content with her toys, and Alaska and Sharon were cooing happily in the background. It didn’t seem all that bad, to be honest. Not at all like Phi Phi had warned her. 

“It truly is family that makes us rich, is it not?” Alaska reminisced. 

Katya nodded along with her. “You’re right. And… I forgive you. Water under the bridge.”

She offered a huge grin to Alaska, hoping that she would believe the act and wholly accept her as the long lost sister. To her complete relief, her eyes lit up and then glistened with sudden unshed tears.

“This has haunted our family for so long, and now, at last, it is done,” she whispered reverently. “You must allow me to prove myself. Sharon is one of us now, and I will show you just how I have never loved another woman. Come with me; come and meet our beautiful children properly. They are a putrid stain on this world and we could not be prouder of them.”

-

“Alaska, are you certain?”

“Sharon, my darling, darkness of my life, I am absolutely positive that that woman is  _ not _ my sister.”


End file.
